Should I Stay or Should I Go?

An argument against expatriation amidst political and cultural upheaval

My daughters, after hearing the surreal news of the recent assassination attempt on a prominent political figure, asked me, “When are we leaving for Canada?” The fifteen year old, who now speaks almost fluent French, suggested Quebec. The thirteen year old, (who, in stark defiance of the elder sibling, chose German to hack through,) proposed a general european tour. Both destinations sounded dreamy to me.

My initial response was to humor their imaginations and ask what I thought was a clever series of artful questions designed to prompt critical thinking and broad consideration of the situation. Instead, I was confronted with a frank realization that occurred to Buckaroo Banzai, (a goddamn gorgeous Peter Weller,) in the bar scene with (an equally fine) Ellen Barkin as Penny Priddy:

“No matter where you go, there you are.”

What would happen if we moved? The first thought was delightful, full of visions of cafe life, cosmopolitan shopping experiences, broad-minded global dwellers over for…